dunno why i am unable to contain my anger. even the slightest inconvenience is pissing me off so bad. head feels heavy and i'm unable to make sense of my foul mood. One moment it is alright, the other moment, it just dips. Weekend was good, rode and watched good movies. but then dunno what happened suddenly. I WAS UNABLE TO CYCLE AGAIN FOR TWO DAYS. TWO FUCKING DAYS. I VEGETATED AT HOME. DIDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT. WAS WORKING. WHY? BECAUSE I'M UNABLE TO WORK IN THE OFFICE. IT'S FUCKIN ANNOYING HOW I'M UNABLE TO WORK IN THE OFFICE. JUST CAN'T TOLERATE BEING AROUND PEOPLE AND THE WORKPLACE NOISE. COMMUTE IS SO EXHAUSTING. WITH PEOPLE FOLLOWING NO BOUNDARIES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I TOOK TWO DAYS TO RECOVER. BUT I AGAIN ATE SHIT. THOSE POTATO CHIPS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME. I REALLY NEED HELP.
Ok, enough of yelling here.
I don't know what i'm going through. Can't put a finger on it. but I'm not feeling good. eyes and head hurt. heart is aching for some reason. just can't make sense of my life anymore. I'm still having violent thoughts of killing myself. But I also have one fleeting thought of riding my bike. that unconditional joy i get out of it. N is also quite kind to me. dunno why. I don't deserve it.
i just want my peace of mind back. please, someone, help me.
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