how can i turn into a ghost after i die?

what if i were to die tonight? should i just quickly say my goodbyes and let people know how thankful i have been for them to be there for me throughout my life so far? or should i just... disappear? leave nothing behind, no reason for them to get any closure... that would be mean, no? but hey... i'll be dead, so at least i won't feel guilty which would make me want to kill myself again. lol. but what if i become a ghost? will i be able to feel then? 🤔

i would love to be a ghost, though. just to see how the people i have left behind are doing when i'm not around and spook them a little when they seemed to have forgotten me. 😈 lol.

i could practically know when they talk about me and what they talk about me. wouldn't it be great? or may be not... what if they unnecessarily say mean things about me or judge me harshly or make fun of me now that i'm dead... not that i'm not used to such a behaviour... but then i'll be depressed even as a ghost only now stuck into a space between earth and infinity. ouch.. no, nope. i literally won't let them shit, and haunt their bathrooms and wherever they go to relieve themselves. 👻😂

but what if i get a job as a guardian angel? i'll protect the people who are nice from mean people. like, a ghost vigilante of sorts. ok, this sounds like a good idea. at least i won't get hurt if there's a fight, because i'm already dead. lol. but would be fun to spook and scare the shit out of the evil people out there.

i googled 'how to turn into a ghost after you die' and ended up on this not-so-boring, unhelpful quora thread: https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-be-a-ghost-after-I-die 😜

did you know that was a wikihow page too, but they have kept it under review. may be because their steps were quite helpful. damn. 

but then i feel even as i'm alive, i should try astral projection, then may be i'll have some eligibility of being a ghost. i've also been learning a few things from stories which are uploaded on khooni monday and scary pumpkin youtube channels. 

i'm sure, i can be a great ghost vigilante. scaring the shit out of anyone and everyone even if i don't mean to... lol 😆

but yeah... i guess, i'll have to first die for that.

well, wishful thinking... 😇