fucking birthday month arrives. what if i die on my birthday? wouldn't it confuse all? whether they should celebrate or mourn? how long will they miss me? a few months? probably a couple years... then life moves on... i'll be long forgotten... until my birthday comes up again and they would marvel on the fact that i left the earth to join the stardust, the same day i was born from it. then again the same old routine... 

sometimes i wonder, what purpose did i serve the humanity by staying alive? sometimes, even the love of the close ones suffocates you when it doesn't understand your pain. it's not their fault, though. how can you walk straight on a pitch dark road? 

best would be to use an obliviate on them and erase my existence from their lives... i can't though, can i?    

anyway... good fuckin night