On my own.

I had an extremely horrible day yesterday. I don't really share my feelings with anyone completely, even N. I somehow just don't feel safe. That one person I wanted to talk to last night, with whom I thought I felt safe, refused my request. I genuinely would have talked about my feelings, had they asked me what I was going through. I guess that's what I deserve: To not be able to share what I deeply feel inside with anyone. 

While N was sympathetic, I didn't feel like sharing more with him because he was more worried that I might lose my shit and go Bellatrix Lestrange on him. 

I have to practice caution now. I am on my own at least when it comes to my mental health. 

But then I guess it's just me and this blog of mine that no one reads. Maybe talking to this faceless mass of nothing will help ease my overburdened heart.

I'm still so overwhelmed that I am fighting my urge to cry while I am typing this in my office. I really hope I don't.