I was told to write down how I felt at the moment... I was amused at how my mind instantly started working an answer; like it was waiting for a thousand years for someone to ask this question.
Sometimes I don't know where my life is heading, feels like it's following a broken compass.
Every morning I look in the mirror, I see someone else. Every morning.
It feels like I'm not entirely dead and not entirely alive.
Every evening, as the sun sets, I sit by my window watching life pass me by, sometimes staring blankly into the crimson sky not wanting to stay alive to watch tomorrow's sunrise.
The nights are like a cup of hot chocolate on an unforgiving, chilly day. I feel the darkness is where I'm meant to be. Like, my mind has found a home in its pitch-dark walls. Even on a good day, I feel my mind never left this space at all.
Why is it so hard to feel the ache which sometimes shatters your heart into 200 billion pieces or to feel the void which leaves a gaping hole in it?
Why is it so hard to feel the chilly indifference of your loved ones which pierces the skin so badly? Isn't it better to be alone than to have someone pretending to be with you?
While dying may seem simple, living seems like a Sisyphean struggle.
I know everyone has their own battles to fight. Everyone has their own demons to tend to.
Anyway... Thank you for reading this far.
