Tumhi socho jara.. kyu na roke tumhe, jaan jaati hai jab.. uthke jate ho tum,
Tum ko apni kasam janejaan, baat itni meri maan lo..
Aaj jane ki jidd na karo.. yunhi pehelu me baithe raho..
Waqt ki quaid me zindagi hai magar, chand ghadiyaan yehi hai jo azaad hai..
inko kho kar meri janejaan, umra bhar na taraste raho..
Aaj jane ki jidd na karo..
Haaye mar jayenge, hum to lutt jayenge, aisi baatein kia na karo..
Aaj jane ki jidd na karo
Kitna maasum rangin hai ye samaa, husna aur ishq ki aaj mairaaj hai..
Kal ki ko khabar janejaan, rok lo aaj ki raat ko..
She was listening intently till the last line of the last paragraph,
when she broke down. She was leaving the country
in a month and was marrying her lover half-heartedly as she never
dreamed of living in any other city / country but her own. The day was
inevitable and I knew I had to see her go away some day. That day had
finally arrived.
Her office colleagues, which included me, had arranged for her a
wonderful house party and she had no inkling whatsoever that she was
coming home to a surprise.
She had quit her job and was about to marry her lover who recently got a
job in the United States. She would embrace the foreign land as her own
with no intention of returning any time soon.
Her terrace flat was beautifully decorated with candles and flowers with
sufi music in the background to add some charm to the evening.
She came, she saw and was surprised. She was speechless for the moment
but gathered her best words to thank us. And the party began.
All settled down with their dinner plates and some wine. My eyes were
skirting hers. I didn't meet her the whole day today. Not that I didn't
want to, I was trying to check if I was able to resist myself the whole
day without seeing her impeccable beauty. Another failed attempt. I had
crossed her cabin before leaving the office, although the exit route was
the other way, just to see her.
She finally called me and asked me to join her in the open air of her
terrace flat. I was reluctant but couldn't resist. As much I loved
inching closer to her, I feared her lover, who was also present in the
party, would not like it. He knew that I had confessed my love to her
and had intense feelings for her. But she was gracious enough to behave
normally and convinced him that there was nothing between us.
We were sitting on the swing in the open air terrace. The moonlight was
at its brightest tonight. It didn't matter, because it wouldn't have lit
up the darkness of my life.
She requested me to sing any song of my choice. I remember how she used
to ask me to sing songs during our coffee breaks together when she was
upset. Slowly others gathered around us. They encouraged me to sing a
song for her. I refused with an excuse of a sore throat. I feared that I
might break down if I sing. Thanks to my gifted bad luck, no one bought
that excuse. I had to sing.
I am no expert at camouflaging my emotions when it comes to singing. I began.
Aaj jane ki jidd na karo,
Yunhi pehelu me baithe raho..
......
......
And
why should all of this bother me? Because, I love her. Because, I want
to see her happy. Because, even when I know I can never have her in my
life, I wish for a miracle to change the constellation of twisted stars
of my destiny. Because I am a woman who has fallen deeply in love with another.
P.S : For the ones who didn't get the privilege ever to listen to this beautiful song by Farida Khanum.
