Contemplating suicide is an interesting activity.
The first question pops into your mind: Which is the quickest and less painful way to die?
Would a quick fall from a high-rise do the trick? Your life would pass you by in those few hanging seconds and what if you have second thoughts? At that point of free fall, wouldn't it be obviously useless? No. Bad idea.
Would jumping from a moving train help? What if you survive? Your close ones will have to tolerate the aftermath more than you. It's a NO then.
I think jumping in front of the train would work. The train would definitely mince you. Umm, yes. That would be fortunately quick enough but you would still feel the piercing pain for some time until your brain dies. Umm, no. Again a bad idea.
Slitting your wrist vertically? Would work, though. Can be considered. But there is still pain.
Hanging yourself to the ceiling fan? Umm, no. Not a fan of that idea.
After much thought, I feel OD-ing on sleeping pills would be a good option. It's just sleeping, like usual, just a long never-ending one. Yes, that would be the best way to die.
The best part about writing these thoughts here is: nobody reads this blog. I can have as many thoughts as possible and no one would harangue me with any 'you-should-not-do-this' shit or 'suicide-is-cowardly' shit or any other shit.
I have not been feeling good about myself for quite some time now. I have had these suicidal thoughts quite often.
Why?
Because I don't know.
I have been in this state of mind a few years ago when my self-esteem and confidence had reached rock bottom. When I was told that I don't deserve to be loved.
Well.. Anyway... meh!
