Saturday, September 15, 2018

Aaj jane ki jidd na karo

Hey you, hi there. This is a short story I wrote four years ago.
Read it and let me know what you think about it. No, it's not a true story. 


Kitna maasum rangin hai ye samaa, 
husna aur ishq ki aaj mairaaj hai..
Kal ki ko khabar janejaan, 
rok lo aaj ki raat ko...

She was listening intently till the last line of this song when she broke down. She was leaving the country in a month and was marrying her lover half-heartedly as she never dreamed of living in any other city / country but her own. The day was inevitable and I knew I had to see her go away some day. That day had finally arrived.
 
Her office colleagues, which included me, had arranged for her a wonderful house party and she had no inkling whatsoever that she was coming home to a surprise.
She had quit her job and was about to marry her lover who recently got a job in the United States. She would embrace the foreign land as her own with no intention of returning any time soon. 

Her terrace flat was beautifully decorated with candles and flowers with sufi music in the background to add some charm to the evening.

She came, she saw and was surprised. She was speechless for the moment but gathered her best words to thank us. And the party began.

All settled down with their dinner plates and some wine. My eyes were skirting hers. I didn't meet her the whole day today. Not that I didn't want to, I was trying to check if I was able to resist myself the whole day without seeing her impeccable beauty. Another failed attempt. I had crossed her cabin before leaving the office, although the exit route was the other way, just to see her.

She finally called me and asked me to join her in the open air of her terrace flat. I was reluctant but couldn't resist. As much I loved inching closer to her, I feared her lover, who was also present in the party, would not like it. He knew that I had confessed my love to her and had intense feelings for her. But she was gracious enough to behave normally and convinced him that there was nothing between us.

We were sitting on the swing in the open air terrace. The moonlight was at its brightest tonight. It didn't matter, because it wouldn't have lit up the darkness of my life.

She requested me to sing any song of my choice. I remember how she used to ask me to sing songs during our coffee breaks together when she was upset. Slowly others gathered around us. They encouraged me to sing a song for her. I refused with an excuse of a sore throat. I feared that I might break down if I sing. Thanks to my gifted bad luck, no one bought that excuse. I had to sing.

I am no expert at camouflaging my emotions when it comes to singing. I began.  

Aaj jane ki jidd na karo, 
Yunhi pehelu me baithe raho... 

And why should all of this bother me? Because, I love her. Because, I want to see her happy. Because, even when I know I can never have her in  my life, I wish for a miracle to change the constellation of twisted stars of my destiny. Because I am a woman who has fallen deeply in love with another.

rant.

I'm alive. (I'm telling this to myself.)  I know I haven't paid this blog my usual depressing visit in a while, but I'm arou...